#uwu sounding mf

[spikeyjo]

I am on t and truly they need to call this shit the salmon juice because my ass is being transformed into a creature beyond my imagination

[dragonanon]

Shameless Satan x Reader headcanons because I am a whore- 😩

- As much as everyone would probably assume he’s into “meek wittle UwU princesses” he can dominate with ease, Satan in fact prefers a little spitfire who won’t hesitate to fight back

- You won’t just lay down and take his BS, and it’s part of what drew him to you to begin with. He was probably raging about some stupid shit in the courtroom, and you (probably a desk clerk or something there at the time) got sick of it and yelled back at him “Oh stfu you big red fucker!” And he was so taken aback that someone had the balls to yell back at him that he was left speechless and mildly aroused

- Calls you things like “little flame”, “spitfire”, “dove”, and his “treasure”

- Knows that the sheer size difference between you two flusters you to no end, and he’s a goddamn menace about it. Making short jokes, holding things out of reach, and randomly picking you up just so he can hear you squeak in surprise. Getting cursed out by you is worth it so long as he gets to see that precious look on your face

- Aside from Yogirt, you’re really the only one who can get Satan to calm down when he’s angry and you have a much easier time doing so than Yogirt does. All you have to do is scratch his chin and croon at him, and the big bastard just melts into your touch

- Purrs SO GODDAMN LOUD but insists that he doesn’t. The lying bastard, he sounds like a tractor engine on steroids. He gets SUPER pissy if anyone besides you comments on it

- SO fucking full of himself, mans REALLY thinks he’s above Lucifer and deserves to be regarded as such smh. Your love and affection only further strokes his overinflated ego, as does any compliments and praise you give him. Mf actually grows BIGGER in multiple ways lol the more his ego is stroked

- This man is a cowboy/rancher and I will take NO criticism because I’m right. He’s got THOUSANDS of cows, and lots of horses too

- When he’s not in the courtroom, he’s working on his ranch. Probably has hundreds, if not thousands, of Demons he employs as farm hands to help with all the work, but there are some things only he can do and TBH he likes the physical activity of the work and it’s a free show for you lol

- He gave you a little chicken coop so you can keep a little flock of chickens. You LOVE your chickens, and your personal fav is a tiny rooster you named “Marshmallow”, and he looks like a more demonic version of this lol

- Says he’s not jealous of Marshmallow, but he TOTALLY is. He gets all pouty and grumbly when you pick up the tiny rooster and coo over him, because dammit you should be cuddling and cooing over HIM! Not that stupid bird!

- Has a big, fancy, mansion on his ranch that he lives in with you. In true dragon fashion, he unironically sleeps on a mountain of gold and other treasures lol. How he doesn’t have back pain is a mystery, but you get to sleep on his tiddies so you have no complaints lol

- Runs SO fucking hot! You’ll never need to pay for heating again, let alone HAVE an actual heating system, because this mf puts out heat like an industrial incinerator. It’s FANTASTIC during the winter because he’s so warm you can just cozy up to him and be in bliss, but in the summer it’s fucking agony and you can’t escape it because he gets upsetti spaghetti if you don’t sleep and cuddle with him

- Would prefer you to NOT be in the courtroom with him. He says it’s because you distract him, but in reality it’s because he doesn’t want you to have to see him explode with rage and live up to his title as the embodiment of wrath. He actually tries REALLY hard to keep that part of himself away from you, because even though he’ll die before ever admitting it, a TINY part of him is terrified that he’ll end up hurting you during one of his outbursts

- If for some reason you HAVE to be there, he has a special little balcony set up for you that’s not only a safe distance away from any potential danger, but ALSO has a magic force field protecting it (that part is a secret tho because if you knew about it, you’d yell at him for thinking you’re weak enough to need protection lmfao)

- If anyone so much as blinks at you wrong, he beats the shit out of them. The ONLY reason he doesn’t kill them is because he knows you’ll yell at him like “Dammit Satan, again?! I can’t go anywhere with you!”

- Yogirt 100% uses his love for you to get him to chill. “I know you’re feeling some pretty big feelings right now, but think of (Y/N)~ She loves you and would be so sad to see you this angry~”

- It’s funny because he and Satan both know damn well that you wouldn’t be sad, rather you’d be yelling at him to knock that shit off lmao

- The entire courtroom once got to hear you sit him the fuck down because he got a little TOO spicy in the courtroom one day, and didn’t believe Yogirt he he not-so-subtly threatened to call you. Sure enough, he pulled out his phone and called you on speaker phone, and everyone got to spend 30 minutes listening to you rip this mf a new one while the mighty king of wrath sat there like a sad puppy and occasionally mumbling something like “I know…I’m sorry treasure, I’ll do better.” (No one is allowed to comment on it or else he’ll get VERY angry about it. Plenty of memes have been made about it tho much to his chagrin)

[sky-is-the-limit]

Okay about my Gaz post because it's mostly people who haven't played the games and are only in the fandom to hc CoD characters as uwu anime girlies (especially on tiktok) how are you gonna include some German mf who sounds like he belongs in JoJo Rabbit (I love König as much as the next person but some of his 'stans' are insufferable) in 141 edits/content and not fucking Kyle who's literally part of the 141. It's a bit weird when you include Price,Ghost, Soap and then boom König, like WHERE did that mf even come from😭 Anyway stan my delicious beautiful sergeant bc he solos.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[ice-devourer]

so, idk if i should do this for my two of my friends bc my parents dont approve of me doing it for others.....so i kinda need advice on what imma bouta do for em it's about disabilities and the ph government i cant post this anywhere else but tumblr .com so

tw one mention of hospitals n overdosing

slightly long post but i need sound advice 😭😭😭😭

↓

so disabled people here have this pwd card thing, however they are very restrictive and pedantic about the application and SLOW AS FUCK for the processing. only recently (last month i think) did they approve of mental disabilities as a disability. the card is difficult to get. two of my friends are neurodivergent and one of them has depression, however their families aren't that...well, receptive about it. 

it's not my first time falsifying documents so im thinking:

i replicate my doctor's prescribing pad and ‘prescribe’ them medicines as proof of their illness, ive been prescribed a ton of different medicines so it's quite easy to make combinations hshhssh,  i also need to falsify a certificate vouching and verufying that they do have an illness. it's fucked up bc they are ill andidk why they need so many verification steps to give the benefits i fucking hate this governmnt why do disabled people need to prove shit multiple times but yeah im not actually falsifying because their illness and disability is real and the government is a fucking asshole abt it so let's use create and not falsify as a verb uwu

i can also create an admission slip for them by replicating and just modifying my own slip from the time i overdosed (twice hshsh) as proof that theyve been hospitalized due to their mental illness bc just the presc. pad may not be enough, so for good measure yep.

i can just accompany them or give them a script of what to say when they get interviewed.

ive falsified vaccination cards for my oarents bc theyre anti vaxxers and i coyldnt fucking get them to ge the vaccine (gurl they are gonna drive me insane) and it worked, ive also falsified an id for myself saying im 21 during the pandemic too bc only people olderthan 21 can run errands and minors werent allowed to go out accoding to our local gov. and i was elected president during my 1st yr bc i made effetive excuse letters that our dean didnt question (mfs (my classmates) said i was doing gods work for em theyre lucky i love em) and ive recently copied someone's signature to get an spa (special power of attorney) andlied to our social security system (went okay hshwhhs) so WHY CANT I DO IT FOR MY FRIENDS IF I CAN DO IT FOR MY FAMILY FUCK GATEKEEPING THIS IS ABOUT DISABLED PEOPLE NOT GETING THEIR RIGHTFUL BENEFITS THIS IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE I ALSO CARE ABOUT

but yeah it's not easy, but to me it's only proper they ge their benefits like i did.

(also cheated mine bc like i said they only considered mental health recently so i went and falsified that i have really reaaly horrible eyesight and bribed my optometrist AHSHSHHWHSSH)

so should i go ahead with this and override my parent's permission bc i am still a lil scared of my mom this could cause a big fight but like...i love these ppl, i want them to have a slightly better life man hshhhahsshsh

[seokjinnieswife007]

I was fiiiiiiiiine before.

Like I was fine *F I N E* with all my singlehood my alone since birth , my dryer than desert life.

I was F. I. N. E. OKAY!!????.

BUT THEN THIS MF SNEAKED INTO MY LIFE.

This man got me feeling every emotion I've ever conserved in my body

He makes me feel all giddy

He lets my uwus burst into COMBUST

His cuteness is a menace to the society, specially

my heart

my life

my whole.

fuckin.

existence.

Like Boy can turn your sane ass into a tomato 🍅

His flirting game is so FUCKIN on point he has such grips on bitches like ppl are actually dreaming of getting railed by you sir

Boy can eat you ALIVE. W/O even laying a finger on you.

Also Boy can make you so sad and that sad will be THAT LEVEL SAD which will actually make you wanna do murders on characters that aren't even R E A L

Sir..

because of you..

*sighs then screams*

my jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets heart beats out of chest awooga awooga sound affect pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out slams fists on table rattling any plates bowls or silverware whistles loudly fireworks shoot from top of head pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth wipes comically large bead of sweat from head clears throat straightens tie combs hair, ahem, you look very lovely making me doing shit like GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF...

*Takes a deep breath*

I'm fine I'm fine ...

Duan jiaxu you ....

*Sobs intensively*

[its-the-zcu]

I hate MCU stans and I hate their shit takes on the characters when it comes to both the comics and the MCU… The shit I’ve seen MCU-Yelena stans say since this new comic came out makes me want to knock them upside their heads!

Fr, the way the MCU fandom misunderstands and UWU-ify's Yelena to the point where they also do it to her comic version makes me want to SCREAM! A lot of their takes on her be having me feeling like the "He would not fucking say that!" meme 😂😭

“Not that anyone asked me but I think maybe they are trying to give MCU Yelena more of a comic background, maybe even hinting at what her life is like before and after Hawkeye.” Bro, this is the COMICS, not the movies! The stuff that happened in the Black Widow movie and the Hawkeye show DID NOT HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS! If your take was the case, they would’ve just said the White Widow comic is a MCU TIE-IN, but unfortunately, IT’S NOT and we’re stuck with a writer that only knows one version of the character trying to write something for the original version!

“I loved the White Widow comic! She sounds just like our Yelena and it’s the cutest thing ever 🥹 The only reason Yelena is getting more prominence in the comics is bc of her newfound MCU popularity and thanks to Florence Pugh! Sorry for the comic stans, but more people will read it now! That's the power of acting! When I'm reading this comic, all I hear is Florence and I think it's charming.” Mf, of course YOU don’t mind it! You’re a damn Florence Pugh/MCU-Yelena stan and this was written by someone whose knowledge of Yelena only extends to the MCU!

“Sarah Gailey replacing comic-Yelena with MCU-Yelena doesn't mean that the old Yelena wasn't good, it just means her character didn’t work before the MCU. Comics-Yelena didn’t have enough fans and the proof is that she didn't have a solo till now” There are plenty well known Marvel characters that haven’t had a solo comic or don’t have that many, so I’mma need you to shut tf up! I’m tired of these MCU stans talking about the comics, acting like they know everything! If Yelena was so “unpopular” and “her character didn’t work” why were people wanting her to appear in the MCU YEARS before the Black Widow movie was being developed?! Why was she always the main one being named for who they’d love to see as a villain in a Black Widow movie? Why was she in almost every fan-made Black Widow trailer and fancast post I saw before the movie was even a thought?

These goofy ass MCU stans act like comic-Yelena had nothing to her character before the MCU. Like, just say y'all haven't read the books or you prefer quirky, UWU female characters that constantly drop quippy one-liners cuz you can’t handle women being anything more than that and go!

[delvalentine]

hahahahaha, are you suspecting you're HORNY (for the fanfic writing meme). i do agree that you sound like a sweetheart!

speaking of self-ships... do you have any self-ships?

i also respect nurses a lot! plenty of my friends are working as a nurse or in healthcare and their schedules are insane. knowing that there are cases that can also last for your entire shift... 😱 sounds like a really serious case. what inspired you to be a RN First Assist?

all the best for balancing work and other interests!! it's also something i have trouble doing as well. i'm hoping to fix my screen time and habit to mindless scroll so i can fix my sleep schedule.

i'm somewhat of a graphic designer! my role has changed though. i used to be designing websites but i've shifted to making game assets instead, so i'm actually doing a bit of animation right now. i--i have no idea how to animate so most of my working hours is spent watching youtube tutorials online HAHAH. it's an experience, and i'm very grateful for it regardless.

thank you for ur well wishes uwu you are right that adulthood is truly so, so, so different from being a teenager. writing fanfic is one of the constants in my life, LOL. it's also really funny how you have to request a day off for your graduation 😝 i hope you enjoy your graduation regardless! and congrats to graduating!!!

-- pasta la vista, milk

(trying out gen z email culture because i see it around the internet and it's so funny)

With full disclosure I never noticed this sitting in my inbox even tho it has been since.. April 💀 then I was thinking of making a self-ship post but cringed at myself... looked through my inbox... and then saw that Milk had asked me about self-ships months ago ?! Crazy.

But, for work stuff, I figure actually participating in the operation would be neat as an RNFA. Though I don't know if my suturing would be quite up to par (shaky hands) LOL. It rained on my graduation as it did on my high school graduation so I suppose that was consistent 🥲 I'd actually prefer to take evening/night/weekend shifts because there's overtime and I hate mornings... but of course this is one of few nursing fields that operates mostly on a day schedule 🥲🥲🥲 I'm soooo mf sick of my 6AM alarm !!! But I did go on a week long trip to Japan this early June (again bcs I had gone Jan 2023 lol) and brought back lots of merch, so though my wallet may be sore, my heart is full... of weeb shit. 😌

That's so cool to be able to say !! I really enjoyed graphic design so hopefully it's still fun as a career. Def feel you on doom scrolling... I even have the Instagram time limits but just don't listen to them which defeats the purpose 💀💀💀 oopies

As for my self ships *cracks knuckles* I branded myself as a Wakatoshi Ushijima stan all throughout 2016 and beyond and I stand by it. He's beefy, stupid, and I have a thing for any character with such an abundance of talent that they instantly become an antagonist. I don't think we'd be compatible, but is he ever a joy to look at... I'm also still hopelessly in love with Haiji Kiyose from RWTW because he has the perfect complementary personality for me; he'd be such a good househusband (men that cook >), motivate my grumpy ass with undying optimism, and put up with my moody tsundere archetype 🤩 . Ignis Scientia also comes to mind as a personality match—he cooks, is sarcastic, and wears glasses? Bonus English accent. That checked off my boxes at once & I literally had stomach pain when certain events happened to him in FFXV because I was THAT emotionally attached. My Japan trip re-ignited a lost love in Sakyo Furuichi; even though I don't follow A3 anymore, I just KNOW I deserve to be isekai-d as a hot yakuza wife .. that trope is MADE for me 😤! I'm still deeply in love with Yuuta Okkotsu but have stalled on the JJK manga bcs of deeply unfortunate and traumatizing canon events 🥴 and currently I am on my knees for Rin Itoshi (even after I saw how straight up uggo he looks in the U-20 arc so I must really be delulu) and Yoichi Isagi; I tried (and failed) to pick between them just like a 2010s dystopian female MC. I just know I’d fight with Rin every single day because we’re too similar (and so the hate sex 🤌🏼) In Genshin I fell for Diluc right away; that personality type is just so scrumptious... tldr anybody that's a candidate for hurt/comfort means I am INTERESTED!

Basically 90% of the time I put a reader insert fic out, I'm living my own Y/N fantasy. If I'm not attracted to them and I'm not writing it as a gift for somebody, I feel 0 inclination to write for that character 😂

Anyways, I really am so sorry for the late reply; I was always wondering why I hadn't heard from you anymore but it turns out I was the reason 💀 what's new in life!? What fics are you working on?

Wishing you well and lots of love!!  @themlky

[the-ghost-behind-the-maxwell]

💀 who tf are you💀 👁👁

💫🔥🌊☠👁moodboard based on the vague lore we have on Maxarie👁☠🌊🔥💫

[babeyvenus]

HILBILLY NICK CAGE?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He looks like him😭😭✋🏽✋🏽

[arachnidsgrippysocks]

And that's when I got high and drew a piano.

HEADCANON Sir Pentious is a show off and can play piano music flawlessly

Mf be playing black midis and playing absolutely insane chords tf

Also I'm slowly getting better at drawing hands hooray

[rosiefridayrogersunday-reads]

THE DREAM CROSSOVER!!!!!!! Holy shit pal you knocked it out of hyperspace with this one THE LAYERS ONIONSSSSSSS

Im losing my sHIIIIIT AAAAAAA (im gonna go off in the tags 🤪) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Verd - Rogue, Chapter 33|| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader

gif: @bestintheparsec

Summary: Haran finally reveals the reason he’s been obsessed with chasing you and Din down for years, and you have a run in with another group of Rogues, who aren’t what you expect. 

A/N: Prophecies, crossovers and space dads. You’re in for a wild ride. 

Warnings: More mature readers, 18+, swearing, mentions of blood, injury, brief mention of taking ones life, hints of smut/sex, not strictly canon but… I don’t care because I love it. 

Rogue Masterlist | Masterlist

Permanent Taglist:

@greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal @mypedrom @undiscovered-misunderstood @kaylee-krystal @queenofthefaceless @gallowsjoker @kirsteng42 @rosiefridayrogersunday @salome-c

Rogue| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f) Taglist:

@snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @kenoobiwan @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtowngirl @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey @what-iwish-you-knew @queenofthefaceless @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @greeneyedblondie44 @itsnottilly @welcometothepedroverse @xgoldenjenny @mamacitapascal @heyitsjaybird @amyk-37 @greatcircle79 @mikariell95 @justdrawings101​ @roxypeanut​

Word Count: 10.6k+ - in for the long haul

Mando’a Translation: verd - warrior

Keep reading

[p4latinus]

toots [part 2] | genshin characters [crack headcanons]

characters: bennett, fischl, venti, raiden ei, dainsleif, scaramouche, kamisato ayaka

genre: crack/fluff/humour (sfw), headcanons

tw:  the entirety of this is purely fart humour lol, mild references to shit

part 1 available here . 

bennett ✰

i have 2nd hand embarrassment

his farts r an earthquake

like a richter scale would be off charts

gift him a pack of diapers

pls i’m begging

on a lucky day he gets caught for farting

but doesn’t shit himself

smells like eggs + salmonella

no but do u guys know how bad egg farts are

like how much they stink???

bennett’s farts sound like eggs boiling in a shell.

fischl ✰

farts in soprano

talks over her fart to cover it up

“why yes, it was the divine flatulence of prinzessin der verurteilung. one shall experience such satisfaction & serendipity aft a SPLENDID BANQUET TO BE FEASTED UPON WITH THE MOST EXQUISITE members of court.”

yells to suppress the volume

oz’s last words: mein frauline… *tanjiro disgusted face*

no but it’s like gacha

sometimes her farts are loud

but sometimes they are quiet

or they stink like a mf—

either way she will over explain & complicate her reason to fart or wtv

venti ✰

… there’s a reason why dvalin beefs w venti

barsibatos more like barsiba-no

he’s drunk most of the time

so his farts gotta be nasty

poor diluc probably hates his job

as a god, he could renew his organs anw

no big deal am i right?

but his farts smell like he held them since the archon war

i’d rather throw myself off the cathedral than to smell venti’s silent wind breakers

probably would use his anemo power to prank others

smell a sudden whiff of diffusion? he blew it to u.

raiden ei ✰

bro i’m laughing my ass off over this

she is so used to farting w every yoga pose in her euthymia

plus no one heard her farts for centuries

the puppet shogun was not programmed to fart anw

ei … oh ei…

her diet consists of junk food & desserts so it’s inevitably horrendous

no pun but her farts would be thunderously loud

plus it can go on for so long bruh

even yae miko would turn to her like

‘this mf hitting the third gear’

dainsleif ✰

his pants r so tight, i just know that the gas particles r suffocating

like father free me pls… *chokes*

doesn’t seem smelly tho

just kinda high pitched

idk his farts seem cowardly to me

like they are too afraid of ripping a hole in his tight ass pants

if he wiggled his ass, his pants would rip & then his farts would be unleashed

like an abyssal roar

BAAAAADDOOOOMMMM PROOOOOOOTTTTT PRAAAATTATATATATAT PREEEEEEET BOOOOM PRAAAAAATT POOOOTTTOTOTOTOOTT PRETRETRETE PREEETTT

probably why those husks couldn’t forget dainsleif

like if u heard *that*, i don’t think u would either…

scaramouche ✰

oh god lol

it smells like pencil shavings & taco bell

a puppet has to clean its system ok

no but srsly what was ei thinking

considered to use his fart as a medieval torture device ONCE

then figured it would be too embarrassing if the culprit lived

instead he farts leisurely in his own room

kinda short & snappy like his temper

some what high pitched & airy farts

ayaka ✰

good lord she is good at holding her farts

but when she goes back to the kamisato estate

thoma secretly wishes to quit his job

loud whirling farts echoing down the hallway from the bathroom

everyone would suspect it’s ayato

until some uwu chick comes out like “delighted to make ur acquaintance”

nah man u gotta run

if only her farts smell like sakura petals

but they smell like powdered collagen induced mala hotpot

ok but if she was desperate to fart in public, she would hide in a cryo sprint

so the floor would be a wet puddle of ice and a slight bubble cracking the surface

it probably sounds crunchy

[amimimi]

sk8 boys would reacting to you pulling them in by their belt

synopsis: you pulling the sk8 babes in by their belts for a kiss

pairings: joe x reader, cherry x reader, reki x reader, langa x reader

warnings: kissing, suggestive themes, swearing

notes: not me just seeing this tiktok trend ...but thoughts are being thunk...❤️ also, i apologize in advance for any grammatical/spelling errors

word count: 1,930

JOE

this flirty ass b*tch 😒

he thinks he’s so smooth...and he is!

i see y’all bar hopping in the early talking stages of your relationship

so you’re seated the bar and you’re kinda annoyed because maybe there are a couple girls who come up to him and offer to buy him a drink? (of course they would, have you seen how he’s built?)

BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE BAD PART

this mf get’s up from his stool and starts FLIRTING BACK?? AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING THERE LIKE —🧍‍♀️

but then he turns back to you and see’s the displeased look on your face.

cue joe nervously laughing and gently shooing the other girls away

but you’re already pissed bc like? the nerve of him? and in front of you??

you stare straight past him, leaning your elbow up on the bar table as he stands in front of you. babbling out apologies(?)

if you can even call them that?

“babe, i’m sorry! you know it’s force of habit! i didn’t even get to see what they looked like! and they were being nice! what was I supposed to do? tell them to get gone? i was just being polite to them, i’m a feminist after all 😏—”

b*tch...what?

you feel like you’re getting dumber just listening to him

so you kinda tilt your head to look at him and let your hands settle on the front of his belt

his voice kinda tilts? like it slightly gets a just a bit higher ?

before he can even make a smart ass remark, you firmly tug him towards you and kiss him

he hums in surprise before chuckling into the kiss and bringing his warm, calloused hands up to your face

he pulls away and quickly pecks at your lips before playfully outing

“oof, so mean”

“but you like that” you reply before kissing him again

meanwhile, the bartender is watching yall like “😐😑😐”

REKI

like with joe, i imagine you pulling this stunt off in the beginning of your relationship

you and reki are in the little workshop behind his house doing normal relationship stuff

you know, reki working on a skateboard repair while you lovingly admire his side profile...yea ❤️

he’s so absorbed in his work, his eyebrows are furrowed every so slightly, and he’ll randomly clench his jaw and WOWOWOW HE LOOK SO GOOD!

you feel so blessed just being able to take this sight in

you’re watching him intently with your elbows propped up on the table and your face resting between your hands

reki’s in the middle of tightening the screws when he notices you looking out of his peripheral vision

he glances over to you and sees you staring at him

have y’all seen that meme of meghan markle at her wedding looking up at harry?

YEA, YEA you’re literally looking up at reki like that

and boy does reki get FLUSTERED

he tries to act cool about catching you staring but baby is blushing way too hard

“w-what?”, reki mentally kicks himself for stammering as he returns his focus to the skateboard

“you look really hot right now”

reki damn near chokes and his face gets even more red (if that’s even possible)

he turns his back to you to reach for a wrench on the wall adjacent to him

but he's trynna hide how hard he's blushing uwu

you're laughing now and the melodic sound makes the tension in reki’s shoulders dissipate

yea...y’all are whipped for each other

reki is pouting with his back to you, still “looking” for his wrench

when all of sudden, he feels your hands settle on his waist, urging him to turn around

"rekiiiiii", you playfully whine. "i can't admire my boyfriend?"

he's turning around to tell you that he's busy, but then your fingers hook onto his belt

and before his brain can compute what's happening, you're sharply tugging his belt and your mouth is on his, hot and heavy

and reki moans

and it's so high-pitched and so earnest and so loud, you almost want to giggle

but then his knees buckle and he kinda collapses forward into you

so y'all both kinda shuffle back, but reki manages to catch himself by wrapping his arms around you for support

you're about to pull away to ask if he's okay, but then he brings one hand up to your face and parts his mouth

and when you gasp against his mouth, he feels slightly relieved knowing his dignity has been saved somehow

reki pulls away first, panting, and rests his forehead against your collarbone, trying to hide his face again

"you suck" he murmurs into your chest, slightly dizzy

you hum contentedly, combing his hair back before kissing the top of his head

CHERRY

first of all, this mf is an aries (just when i thought he couldn’t get sexier)

and aries men...🥴

basically, you have to do a lot to actually fluster this man

so let’s say he takes you with him for a two-day work trip on a nearby island

while he works with his clients during the day, you busy yourself by wandering around the hotel or walking along the beach

basically, the only time the two of you have together is in the evening

it’s your last night before y’all have to return to okinawa

kaoru tells you to get dressed and takes you out to this expensive ass restaurant and he’s sooooo f*cking romantic

the love in his eyes,,,, his soft ass smile as he watches you ramble in between taking sips from your wine glass

he’s looking at you as you’re personally responsible for the sun rising each day

i mean, you could’ve been talking about how you saw a crab on the beach that was missing a leg, and kaoru would just be like “tell me more bby 🥰😍”

when y’all make it back to the hotel, you’re both a little tipsy (kaoru is more so buzzed)

you’re holding onto kaoru’s arm as you both take the elevator up to your hotel room

kaoru feels you slightly sway against him and he leans over to kiss the top of your head

“you alright, darling?” he murmurs into your hair

he takes your hand in his and runs the pad of his thumb over the back of your hand

and he does all of this while his lips are pressed against the top of your head— SIR PLS ✋😩

it’s an chaste act and you know he’s genuinely concerned but after two glasses of wine, your brain is just—🥴

hornknee thoughts only 😩💯

sloppily, you wiggle out of kaoru’s embrace before centering yourself in front of him with your hands placed on his chest

at your action, kaoru’s eyebrow raises ever so slightly but he keeps silent, slightly amused

“you’re so f*cking fine” you murmur, slightly smoothing your hands over kaoru’s chest, staring him right in eye

“oh?”

“yea, and you don’t even try. What’s that like?”

by now, kaoru’s softly smiling. “what’s what like, my love?”

“what’s it like to be so hot without even trying?”

and before ol boy can even reply to that, your hands find his belt before firmly pulling him in for a kiss

kaoru hums at the sudden jolt but then sighs appreciatively through his nose and wastes no time parting his mouth for you

b*tch, you’re the one who’s moaning skxhsnwje

still kissing you, he smooths your hair back with one hand before grabbing a fistful of your hair

he firmly yanks your hair back and deepens the kiss, and you just— 🤸‍♀️

the moan that elicits from you, is OTHERWORLDY

you feel the elevator roll to a stop

kaoru pulls back with a grin on his face and so much love in his eyes that you’re tempted to go in for round two

but then the elevator door slides open and he grabs your hand, tugging you into the hallways

as he leads you to the hotel room, kaoru slightly turns his head back to smile at you, with the same amount of love in his eyes

LANGA

i feel like langa may get flustered as easily as reki might, but he’s manages to be a lot more cool about it

which kinda drives you up the wall? you just wanna see your boyfriend embarrassed for once

all he does is slightly blush with a straight face and glance away

so let’s say he’s walking you home after you, him, and reki were hanging about at a skatepark

the sun had already set and langa is walking beside you with his skateboard under one arm.

the walk is pretty silent, but it’s a comfortable silence. langa finds that he and you can soak up each other’s presence without having to say a word

you see him jolt out of your peripheral vision and you’re like ???

before you can glance over and ask if he’s okay, he quickly grabs your hand

you glance up at him, confused, and he simply replies “i forgot to hold your hand, sorry”

langa wtf??

fighting back the urge to laugh, you squeeze his hand and tell him it’s fine

both of you share a soft smile, before the easy silence continues for the rest of the walk

when y’all arrive on your porch steps, you turn to him and thank him for walking you home

langa assures you it’s no problem before saying goodnight

he’s turns around and takes a couple steps away, when you clear your throat

he glances back at you, quizzically

you’re standing on the porch step, with your hands behind your back.

there’s a mischievous glint in your eyes

“aren’t you forgetting something?” you playfully chide him

langa: 😐😑😐

you can literally see the gears turning in langa’s head

“...did you want me to walk you to your bedroom?”

you can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you, and langa feels his cheeks reddened slightly

“angel, no. I meant a goodnight kiss?”

“o-oh, right”

his brows furrowed slightly as he determinedly making his way over to you

he’s so—&:&72737

as he’s making his way over, an idea pops into your head and you kinda “>:3”

when langa is standing in front of you, your hands grip onto his belt and you yank him into a kiss

bby boy almost drops his skateboard

he quickly inhaled through his nose before giving a stuttered moan and you smile into the kiss

you’re standing on the first step to your porch so the added height is giving you more access

BITE HIS MFIN LIP! he will gasp so prettily into your mouth

entranced, he keeps leaning more and more forward, that is, until the back of your foot hits the step behind you

stumbling backwards, you fall back and pull langa along right with you

you fall right on your ass, yelping as you knock foreheads with langa as he falls into you

so now, you’re both left moaning, gripping your foreheads

“are you okay?” langa asks you, dropping his hand from his forehead revealing a red mark

you begin to laugh at the sight of it and langa just stares at you, confused but slightly defensive

“w-what?!”

“your forehead is red” you giggle

“well yea, you slammed your forehead into mine”

“you slammed your forehead into mine” you give him a quick peck on his lip before smoothing his hair hair back

“that looks like it’s gonna bruise,” you murmur and press a kiss to his forehead “I’ll get you some ice, come inside”

end notes: i wanted to get this out in time for cherry’s bday!

[sullys-nose-hair]

Jeffy weffy x reader weader 🥺🥺🥺

"J-j-j-j-j-j-j-jeff s-s-s-s-s-s-senpai." I CUTELY called out to my alpha-senpai Kerry weffy as my toes curled from the vibrations my voice sent though my body, Cumming on the site in my beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, not like other girls, quirky, cute outfit

(This is ur outfit btw kittens😈😈)

(Ik so quirky) 🥺🖐

"Ye ma bebeha groeal." Jeffy effy NY Master called out in his thick, emo, raspy, crusty, tie curling voice as he turned around to face me. All the maggots, lice, and dandruff in his hair flaking every where, some of ur landing in me which I greatfully ate up. Jeffy weffy doesn't like me not eating his lice and maggots and dandruff, the occasional cockroach in his crusty mane to.

He's just so quirky🤪🤪just like me.

That's why I got bullied in school, bc all the other girls were jealous of my 100000 meter ass that made the world shake with ever step I would take, my 20000 meter tits that would always drive the boys crazy, and my snatched 2cm waist paired along with my flat stomach, long blonde hair that fell down to my 2cm waist and sparkling blue orbs that glistened in the sun, pale as paper skin.

Plus I wasn't like other girls🙄

I didn't like to wear pink or any other color other than black, I was just quirky like that.

Handsomely smirking at me, his maggot filled yellow teeth peaked out from underneath his bright neon red lips. Making me cum on the spot as I CUTELY wimpered. I was just so perfect like that

Everything I did was perfect, from the way I played with my asscheek or ussy hair or toe hair I was just perfect as the say I was born. Even if I did have a little bit of depression in me💔💔💔💔

"D-d-d-d-d-d-do u-u-u-u-u-u-u l-l-l-l-l-l-like m-m-m-m-m-ny o-o-o-o-o-o-o-outfit j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jeff s-s-s-s-s-s-senpai?" I CUTELY wimpered out in my feminine, sweet, and perfect voice. My blue orbs soaking up any movement j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jeff s-s-s-s-s-s-senpai made.

"Of cour bebeha greoawrl, everything look good on ma bebeha groeawl." I uwued my way over to jeffy weffy. Hiding the knife behind my back CUTELY like a bad ass.

Ripped off Jeff's stiff, dirty pants and boxers, some cockroaches getting in my way and cut his 100000000000000000000000000000000000000 meter dick right off CUTELY AND PERFECTLY OR COURSE but what else would u expect from ME.

Groaning handsomely in pain he grinned down at my 0000000000000.1 cm figure, flashing me his maggot filled yellow teeth again.

"Dam bebeha groeawl u know exactly what I like." He handsomely and sexily said in his aged, raspy voice that made him sound like he smoked for 90 yrs straight.

"U-u-u-u-u-u-uwu j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jeffy w-w-w-w-w-w-weffy" I CUTELY said, pushing my 200000000 meter tits down a bit so that they were now touching the floor instead of jeffy ankle, my nipples were a bit sentive🥺🥺

"But I can't let that go wit ou a punimebt bebeha groeawl." He said with a dark, sexy, cute, amazing look in his crusty icy blue eyes as he once again flashed me his maggot filled yellow teeth.

(@spooky-donut-ghost-house @oreosplease @xxcha0t1c-racc00nxx @normanbatessupremacy @nonotthebasement 🥺🖐)

Yes I'm back mfs😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

[peachyninjago]

Anyways, for the ask thing. Is show x movie done yet? I would LOVE to hear about it cuz I think it's a concept that should be explored more. Also because I like reading things like that. Also because I have a wip about it at one point. ANYWAYS please give because all of your aus are the most superior 🙏🙏🙏

SHOW × MOVIE FOR YOU TWO!!! (and some more lfdacbaak :]) i'll do a hc for each ninja and their counterpart :DD

• (this one doesnt count its just backstory aucufuafa) SxM happens bc S!Lloyd's oni/dragon powers kicked in and whoops!! wuh-oh!!! accidentally opened a portal to another realm!!!! ..oh its chill? its chill AND it has alternate versions of ourselves?? oh nvm this place sounds SICK

• S!Kai and M!Kai get along pretty well!! s!kai sometimes finds his counterpart pretty childish, but he cant judge him. he was like that once, too. and m!kai thinks s!kai is really awesome!! maybe he needs to lighten up a bit, but 100% a good role model/mentor!! co-cereators of the 'multi-versal Lloyd protection squad'. s!kai is ENAMORED by the fact that m!kai and his sister are twins. they are also. Very Competitive sugauwguaf. like i said, mentor/student dynamic with em :)

• S!Cole and M!Cole are also pretty alright with each other!!! they're both introverts so. they (affectionately) talk shit abt their teammates w one another. m!cole gets his counterpart into music, and s!cole does the viceversa with dancing!! also I like to think m!cole hasn't really processed his moms death yet so s!cole really teaches him to Stop Shoving His Grief aside and allow himself to mourn. less mentor/student and more father/son or older/younger brother for these two

• OKAY. MAYBE A CONTROVERSIAL TAKE. s!jay and m!jay do NOT get a long. or they get along the worst, at least. s!jay doesn't really like how his counterpart is all 'uwu softboy who loves nya and is too nervous to speak and also does Not know how to invent'. he even doubts that mf grew up in a junkyard. and the feeling is (kinda) reciprocated!! m!jay is pretty scared (and envious) of s!jay. 'he's with nya. he's so much more confident than me. he's amazing at building and inventing. i wish i could be more like Him'. they'd actually be pretty good friends if they just looked past one anothers flaws tho (very much reluctant mother goose being followed by a clingy gosling dynamic for them.)

• MMMM s!zane and m!zane are Complicated. on shows side, he doesn't really like how his counterpart makes his Nindroid-ness out to be... almost a joke?? idk. s!zane's kind of. Afraid of becoming like his counterpart, but at the same time he wants to help him realize that he's More than just a robot. he has a family, man. and a Soul. although, movie is actually pretty opposite!! i like to think m!zane was NOT created to protect those who cannot protect themselves, but to be an Actual son/experiment for Dr. Julien. he doesn't know why his counterpart is so stressed and serious all the time!! theyre Wild Teens!!! live a little!!!! (also very hard to name dynamic?? bit of mentor/mentee AND reluctant siblings mixed in there frfr)

• SLAMS FIST ON TABLE. S!NYA AND M!NYA ARE THE BWORSTIES (best friends/worsties.) they are seeing who has better control over water. they are comparing and helping each other through their trauma. they are fighting over who has the cooler brother. they vent to each other about how hard it is being the only Girl on the team. they're training with each other with Violent hand to hand combat. they are hugging and talking about how hard lifes been w/o ray and maya. they are insulting eachother. m!Nya is taking s!nya on a 2 am bike ride while s!nya is teaching m!nya how to ask jay out. dynamic is ABSOLUTE BESTIES WHO ALSO BITE EACH OTHER IF THEY GET TOO CLOSE <3<3

• and, of course, ops favorite(s); s!Lloyd and m!Lloyd!! getting their dynamic right out of the way by saying they aren't brothers- their Twins. absolute, familial TWINS. they are each others therapists who constantly tell one another that they work too hard. the both probably think their counterpart is cooler than them. idk when this takes place in time, but if its before tlnm, m!lloyd is AMAZED at how well s!lloyd takes the mass-bullying (shows unfortunately used to it from darkleys :[) but, if it's AFTER tlnm, the entire city goes WILD 'omg they're MULTIPLYING YESSS' also, they let themselves act like kids when around one another. they both had to grow up too fast for different reasons, but the fact that they can talk to someone who Actually Gets It helps a lot :) they also compare trauma loll

...oh, and here's a lfdacbaak hc for you!! (I did a whole post of em vv recently actually viaguagwig)

• after morro and nya, wu is the next one to figure out the new family cat is Lloyd. meow meow reacts everytime the word 'uncle' is occasionally thrown around, and lloyd always seems to somehow Find and Bring wu whatever he was looking for (smthn he did as a human, too :])

SORRY THIS TOOK A DAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT REGARDLESS GUSUAFUWF7WF